The First Day of..... my Broken Heart

Twas the night before school started and summer was done.

All the Coleman's were sleeping except for the one.

Colleen was up pacing too wired for sleeping,

Just the thought of them gone was enough to start weeping.

This really WAS the way I spent the night before school started.  Really no joke.

I wept as I made their lunches with 2 creamy and 1 chunky (rat hairs and all Janet) peanut butter sandwiches.

I wept as I drove Sarah to A-hour seminary at 6:30 and was still weeping at 7:30 when I went back to take her a lunch and to see if she needed to come home and eat breakfast for the 20 minutes before school started. Sarah looked at me and asked "Mom what's wrong with you?  Why do you keep crying this morning?" "I had such a great summer with you guys and I will, Sniff, Sniff, miss you" 

I wept for the first time in earnest as I took the traditional 1st day of school photos of Joe and John in front of the red post.  If you look close you can see tear drops on the lens of the camera.  It's not rain its the evidence of my breaking heart.

Joe was fine going to school, but who would help John open his applesauce, tell him what the whistle was for, screw the cap on his water bottle, snap his pants and give him that smile and wink that I gave him.

I wept as I found a place to park the car.  I did have to stop weeping so I could give the zit faced High School ditcher on the 1st day a dirty look.

The long walk to room 1 was the longest of my life.  I kept my sunglasses on the whole time so I wouldn't embarrass Joe who was not very pleased that I had worn my blue dancing pants (workout shorts) to the school.

The time had come for John to go to 1st grade.  Time for the separation.  We parted.  He went into room 1.  I turned my face away.  I glanced back one more time but he had turned away already more interested in the voices in the room than the feelings of his own mother.

I slowly walked back to my car not even caring the the ditching pockmarked youth was now joined by an equally unattractive female.  It just didn't matter anymore.

I pulled back onto Westwood street.  I was now sobbing full out making little hiccup noises and having to wipe my snotty nose on the back of my shaking hand.

It occurred to me that maybe Sarah would need me one last time today so I pulled to the side of the street just under the "No parking 8am to 4pm school day sign.  I had no more been stopped for a minute when I was joined by a motorcycle officer complete with mustache and aviator sunglasses.  "Maam, you can' t park or stop here".  "Th... Than..Thank you"  were the only words that would whisper through my quivering lips.  The officer then said  " I will give you a warning today but tomorrow if you Par...excuse me maam is there a problem you seem to be mighty upset."  I straightend quickly.   "No problem officer after all today is the 1st day of school and these are 

TEARS OF JOY!

Mad-House Mania

Last week the whole Coleman family plus Jake's friend Alysha went 

to Disneyland. 

It was a celebration of our 25th anniversary and 24 years of wedded 

bliss.

A new attraction is at California Adventure.  It is called Toy Story Midway Mania.  So very totally fun.  You sit in a little moving booth and while wearing 3-D glasses you play a variety of carnival games.  If you shoot the 3000 pt balloon with a dart a water balloon comes right at you and then there is a mist as the balloon hits you.

It may be a brand new ride at C-A but there was something vaguely familiar about this ride.  I was pretty sure I had been on this one before or something like it.  Yeah I'm positive that this ride is not that original I HAVE PLAYED THIS ONE.  Except I'm positive its called 

Coleman Story Mad House Mania

Lights on Lights off - Daren goes through the whole house and turns off the lights.  As fast as you can say Bob's your uncle and Fannies your aunt, someone else sprints to turn them on.  The scoring occurs through how loud on the loud-0-meter Daren  can say TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Musical Chair (just one) The one chair that everybody must sit in to watch TV squeaks and whistles.  If you rock it a certain way it will play a tune.  You are scored on original composition and musical technique.

Find the Fone Fast.  The phone rings and the race is on.  We have one phone with a cord, one with a speaker and 6 cordless phones that live on various little charging stumps.  When the phone rings you circle the speaker phone once, touch the cord phone seven times and run to find a cordless phone.  If you can find one while the phone is still ringing you score 10 points.  If it has to go to answering machine you only get 5 points and if you bang your pinky toe on the corner of the door you get to yell a bad word and lose all your points.

Washing Machine Shimmy:  Our washer is on its last leg!  All it needs is a G-String, a bikini top and a pole and it could hold it's own against any seasoned stripper.  It Shimmies during the wash, shakes during the rinse, and then bumps and grinds for the spin cycle.  This game is scored on the distance the washing machine travels during the spin cycle.  

Toilet Trouble is a game of chance.  You use the toilet and make your bet.  You can wear you 3-D glasses for this one if you wish.  "Step right up, how many flushes will you guess. One for the pretty little lady.  What about you young man, will it be 3 or 4".   Insider information on this game:  The longer the player is engaged in the game the more flushes it will take.

Cars.  Mom pulls in the carport.  Jake pulls in behind.  Mom needs to leave.  Jake moves his car to the other space in the carport.  Mom leaves.  Elisabeth pulls in behind Jake.  Mom comes back and pulls behind Jake.  The cars are now 3 deep.   Daren comes home and parks in the street.  Jake needs to leave but Mom has lost both sets of keys in a mystery purse.  Everybody stays home now.  Points are earned only by Jake for not calling anybody an idiot or a word that I don't know how to spell.

My Favorite game

Saturday night Fever.  In this game Daren and Colleen are Studying for  Sunday lessons.  Daren takes Joe to a friends house while Colleen drives a group of kids to the movies.  Elisabeth is out at Emily's and Jake is on a date.  Every driver must go to Walmart.  Every driver must complain about the trashy people at Walmart and the number of crying kids they have brought who should be in bed.   Each driver must also observe 2 fat bottomed ladies in black stretch pants, one grandma type with a tooth missing and a long haired stinky man with gross toenails.  The driver who remembers to pick up milk and Dr. Pepper for Sunday is the winner of the whole game.

So there you have it.  As suspected, life at the Coleman House is one big game. 

Thanks for reading

Colleen 

I Am Really Sick! 

I am Really Sick.   I have an actual medical condition.  I am not sure what it is called but I am pretty sure I have it.

I am sniffing and sneezing and wheezing.  I think I am allergic to to moldy wet towels.  Every towel we own is wet on the floor, the couch, beds, the kitchen table.  I believe this has made me sick.

I get hot flashes.  All of a sudden I am looking for the stinky old man and low and behold it is me that stinketh.  My door is not able to close properly because no one knows how to shut it behind them.  I am suddenly hot and I believe this is bringing on menopause.

I have become anti social.  I find myself going into my room and locking the door a lot.  I do this when I want to talk on the phone, put on my shoes, look at my gray hairs, check out the new mole on my nose or  have an uninterrupted thought.  There are people in every room of my house all the time.  I even cleaned my closet to go stand in to be by myself.  I am getting sicker by the day.

My hair is falling out.  Every comb, brush, blow dryer,  flat iron, and even my special "afro pick" has been borrowed.  I find that when I now comb my hair I tend to pull the hair out because my fingernails are so long because I HAVE NO NAIL CLIPPERS.  I will be bald by the end of summer.

My eyes are failing.  If I have to watch "Camp Rock" one more time I will actually gouge them out myself.  

I have a ringing in my ears.  Every person in our family has their own ipod and they play them the same time.  Even when they are turned off I still hear "I kissed a girl and I liked it".   I don't like it.    

I'm mentally confused.  I planned a trip to Hannah Montana and Waverly Place.  

Some people say that by the time summer ends they are "sick of their kids".  I am not sick of my kids no no no, but something in my house is definitely making my sick.  School has now been out for 5 weeks, I wonder what is making me so sick.  I called the doctor and they can't get me in until August 11th.  I wonder if I will still be sick then.

The Coleman Children are so attractive!

Sarah Lyrical Dancing

Joe and the Wright Kids on the Last Day of School

Elisabeth

Jake Opening the "Call" to London England South

John and Joe at Usery Pass

I've Had a "Ruff" Day at Work

I read in the paper last week that Friday was the official "Take your Dog to Work Day."  Really and truly I am not making this up.  This picture is not my dog it came out of the paper.

How do you know is ready to go to work?  Has he talked to his dog therapist and does he have subconscience desires to be more than a mutt.  Does he want to be a professional canine?  Another question:  Is it legal?  There are child welfare laws.  Wouldn't the ASPCA or PETA want to be involved?  What hours would your dog work?  Would one hour equal seven hours?

Would he wear doggie outfits or come "fido al fresco?"

My most burning question is:  Is this fair that dogs get to work and cats are left at home?

We used to have 3 cats Rip, Chloe, and Pedro.  Pedro was an undocumented cat.

He was a cat who participated in the Coleman version of "Take your Cat to Work."  Pedro volunteered to work at Daren's Construction yard.  He was a pioneer, he was politically correct and best of all he is gone.  Maybe taking your pet to work will take the place of the previous excuse of "our cat ran away."  Sounds good!  Stuff your pet in a burlap bag and ...

Take Your Pet to Work! 

         So today is Fathers Day

 I have been thinking about my dad.  

I am the youngest of 5 girls and I am pretty sure that when I was born dad knew that he was for sure not getting any boys.  That's why I am named after him.  I am named Colleen after my dad Collins.  I actually didn't like my name too much when I was younger.  I would have rather been named Jennifer, Laura, Lisa or my very favorite Christine.  I did like being named after my dad.  And now being older I appreciate my name because it really does mean so much to me because of my dad.  

From my dad I inherited my large pores, thick ankles, straight hair, and a tendency to be very single minded.  I think now days they call this OCD.  Some things I wish that I had inherited from my dad: 

 I wish I had a more mathematical mind.  Dad is able to figure anything out.  Sometimes he thinks about things for days and puts it together in his head and then he will put it on paper and then put it to work.  This is amazing and a true gift.  He was a really great engineer.  

I wish I was as wise as my dad.  Dad didn't force his opinion on me as a young girl or teenager.  When he had something to say to me however he would say, "I need to visit with you in my den young lady".  I knew what he had to say was important and that he had been thinking about this visit long before it happened.

I wish I had the patience to be really good at something like my dad.  Dad never ever started a hobby that he didn't go whole hearted into.  His photography did not stop at just buying the camera.  He was really good at making movies and making them so enjoyable to watch.  These were complete with titles and credits.  His still photography rivals a professional.  And now his new interest in digital photography and computer scanning is amazing.  Dad is also a very skilled carpenter, music lover and collector, car mechanic, electrician, writer, speech and talk giver, and family historian.  He is NOT a great hair dresser.

Dad is a great sport and never seems to get his feelings hurt when he catches us making fun of him.  We only laugh at him because we love him.  Five things that make me smile as I remember my dad growing up:

1.  When a man in our ward rubbed lotion on his arm during church, dad told mom that there was something "off" about that guy.

2.  When he would play music in his shop on his homemade speaker and we would sing together when I would hold boards for him while he used the saw.

3.  When we went to the cabin and slept in cots under the stars in the front room before the roof was on the cabin.

4.  When he would come  to Utah when we lived up there and take me grocery shopping and buy Elisabeth animal crackers and then we would have roast for Sunday dinner.

5.  When he would come to a dance or band concert and I would ask him how he liked it and he would say, "I didn't know you were the only girl in the band", because I didn't see any other kids there.

There are tons of things I could say about dad, but I was just thinking about him today.

Thanks for reading.

Love Colleen (named after Collins)

HERE COMES SUMMER!

There are a few things about summer I love.  I love 7 trips to Carson Pool a day.  I love lots of Krazy Sub 1/2 pepsi 1/2 diet pepsi with extra ice.  I love little boys "butch" haircuts.  I love the Corn and Tater party.  I love girls camp.  I love Cub Scout Day Camp, Which by the way is the subject of my post.  

If there some of you who live under a rock and have not ever been to CSDC you have really missed out on the finer things in life.  Day Camp is at South Mountain at the Heard Pueblo.  Which is really cool.  It goes for 3 consecutive days from either 8am-2pm or 3pm-10pm.  Our stake likes the afternoon session.  To keep the boys cool they have sprinklers going everywhere in the trees, on every path.  Even those east mesa moms hair was flattened and they had to wear hats like everyone else.  Also they encourage the boys to bring squirt bottles and throw water balloons, even at the adults.  Yesterday when I went there was some kid that kept hitting me every time I walked out of our campsite.  One balloon even had a rock in it.    I had had enough of that little twerp and when we went to the last rotation in the amphitheater I put a big water balloon down under him and he sat on it.  Ha Ha it totally looked like he wet his pants.  On the way home the boys in my car were so stinky I had to continually smell my armpit for some fresh air.  I'm sure none of them showered when they got home because they did swim in the pool earlier that day.  It was great fun and the best part, I was only invited to go one day.  Really the best part was my Joe Coleman who was by far the nicest kid there.  There are many great things of summer coming up, so I will keep you posted.

Colleen