When in doubt just make it up

I have been writing to both of my children in England and now Sweden every week. With each letter I try to include a quote from a prophet or apostle or somebody who has better advice than me. This is suppose to inspire them to do better, and be a better person. I have searched high and low for great scriptures and quotes. I would like to share some of the better ones. Some of them I will have to explain their origin and when they can be used so they make sense. Oh and by the way I made most of these up so they are NOT inspired in any way.

Prayer, Fasting, and the Holy Ghost is BETTER than a valium.
(When Elisabeth was freaking out at the MTC before she went to Sweden)

These mashed potatoes are so creamy.--While you where sleeping
(When you can't find anything else to say but you need to be positive)

Those who are happy with Otter Pops should never be offered anything better
(When you are thinking of bringing something really yummy home to your kids)

If I had any more fun, it wouldn't be fun anymore.
(Time to go)

That child should be slapped first thing every morning. Because he will surely deserve it by the end of the day.
(What I said about other peoples kids before I had any)

It is time to make a new bow.
(When all other options are exhausted and you have to figure something else out)

She/He is as odd as an old shoe--Grandma Chapman
(Somebody really weird)

Who made you the big sheriff?--My Mother
(When somebody is really bossy)

Well excuuuuuse me for living Eunice
(From the Carol Burnett show of course)

I am so poor I can't even pay attention - My Mother

My shower was so small I had to go outside to change my mind - My Mother

Happy Jack Happy Jack
(What Daren tells me when he knows I am making up a story or song)

I have the Power of the Stinky Armpits! I Rule - John Coleman

Feel free to use any of these for the right occasion
P.S As I was reading the comments MaryJo wrote here favorite Grandma Chapman saying and it is so good it must be included:
Like an oogerbay on your ingerfay - My Mom
(When you can't get rid of someone)