Mad-House Mania

Last week the whole Coleman family plus Jake's friend Alysha went 

to Disneyland. 

It was a celebration of our 25th anniversary and 24 years of wedded 

bliss.

A new attraction is at California Adventure.  It is called Toy Story Midway Mania.  So very totally fun.  You sit in a little moving booth and while wearing 3-D glasses you play a variety of carnival games.  If you shoot the 3000 pt balloon with a dart a water balloon comes right at you and then there is a mist as the balloon hits you.

It may be a brand new ride at C-A but there was something vaguely familiar about this ride.  I was pretty sure I had been on this one before or something like it.  Yeah I'm positive that this ride is not that original I HAVE PLAYED THIS ONE.  Except I'm positive its called 

Coleman Story Mad House Mania

Lights on Lights off - Daren goes through the whole house and turns off the lights.  As fast as you can say Bob's your uncle and Fannies your aunt, someone else sprints to turn them on.  The scoring occurs through how loud on the loud-0-meter Daren  can say TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Musical Chair (just one) The one chair that everybody must sit in to watch TV squeaks and whistles.  If you rock it a certain way it will play a tune.  You are scored on original composition and musical technique.

Find the Fone Fast.  The phone rings and the race is on.  We have one phone with a cord, one with a speaker and 6 cordless phones that live on various little charging stumps.  When the phone rings you circle the speaker phone once, touch the cord phone seven times and run to find a cordless phone.  If you can find one while the phone is still ringing you score 10 points.  If it has to go to answering machine you only get 5 points and if you bang your pinky toe on the corner of the door you get to yell a bad word and lose all your points.

Washing Machine Shimmy:  Our washer is on its last leg!  All it needs is a G-String, a bikini top and a pole and it could hold it's own against any seasoned stripper.  It Shimmies during the wash, shakes during the rinse, and then bumps and grinds for the spin cycle.  This game is scored on the distance the washing machine travels during the spin cycle.  

Toilet Trouble is a game of chance.  You use the toilet and make your bet.  You can wear you 3-D glasses for this one if you wish.  "Step right up, how many flushes will you guess. One for the pretty little lady.  What about you young man, will it be 3 or 4".   Insider information on this game:  The longer the player is engaged in the game the more flushes it will take.

Cars.  Mom pulls in the carport.  Jake pulls in behind.  Mom needs to leave.  Jake moves his car to the other space in the carport.  Mom leaves.  Elisabeth pulls in behind Jake.  Mom comes back and pulls behind Jake.  The cars are now 3 deep.   Daren comes home and parks in the street.  Jake needs to leave but Mom has lost both sets of keys in a mystery purse.  Everybody stays home now.  Points are earned only by Jake for not calling anybody an idiot or a word that I don't know how to spell.

My Favorite game

Saturday night Fever.  In this game Daren and Colleen are Studying for  Sunday lessons.  Daren takes Joe to a friends house while Colleen drives a group of kids to the movies.  Elisabeth is out at Emily's and Jake is on a date.  Every driver must go to Walmart.  Every driver must complain about the trashy people at Walmart and the number of crying kids they have brought who should be in bed.   Each driver must also observe 2 fat bottomed ladies in black stretch pants, one grandma type with a tooth missing and a long haired stinky man with gross toenails.  The driver who remembers to pick up milk and Dr. Pepper for Sunday is the winner of the whole game.

So there you have it.  As suspected, life at the Coleman House is one big game. 

Thanks for reading

Colleen 

I Am Really Sick! 

I am Really Sick.   I have an actual medical condition.  I am not sure what it is called but I am pretty sure I have it.

I am sniffing and sneezing and wheezing.  I think I am allergic to to moldy wet towels.  Every towel we own is wet on the floor, the couch, beds, the kitchen table.  I believe this has made me sick.

I get hot flashes.  All of a sudden I am looking for the stinky old man and low and behold it is me that stinketh.  My door is not able to close properly because no one knows how to shut it behind them.  I am suddenly hot and I believe this is bringing on menopause.

I have become anti social.  I find myself going into my room and locking the door a lot.  I do this when I want to talk on the phone, put on my shoes, look at my gray hairs, check out the new mole on my nose or  have an uninterrupted thought.  There are people in every room of my house all the time.  I even cleaned my closet to go stand in to be by myself.  I am getting sicker by the day.

My hair is falling out.  Every comb, brush, blow dryer,  flat iron, and even my special "afro pick" has been borrowed.  I find that when I now comb my hair I tend to pull the hair out because my fingernails are so long because I HAVE NO NAIL CLIPPERS.  I will be bald by the end of summer.

My eyes are failing.  If I have to watch "Camp Rock" one more time I will actually gouge them out myself.  

I have a ringing in my ears.  Every person in our family has their own ipod and they play them the same time.  Even when they are turned off I still hear "I kissed a girl and I liked it".   I don't like it.    

I'm mentally confused.  I planned a trip to Hannah Montana and Waverly Place.  

Some people say that by the time summer ends they are "sick of their kids".  I am not sick of my kids no no no, but something in my house is definitely making my sick.  School has now been out for 5 weeks, I wonder what is making me so sick.  I called the doctor and they can't get me in until August 11th.  I wonder if I will still be sick then.

The Coleman Children are so attractive!

Sarah Lyrical Dancing

Joe and the Wright Kids on the Last Day of School

Elisabeth

Jake Opening the "Call" to London England South

John and Joe at Usery Pass