So I have a burning question.
Why!
I had to go to DI today and there was a girl there working at the checkout and she had all these little pieces of masking tape on her arm. I just maybe thought that she was making little tape loops for a later Laurel lesson or something like that. I was so curious that I said "are you planning to mask something off later? Whats with the tape on your arm?" She started to say (I think this is what she was trying to say) " *I sneezed too clubbing up my thug om my ham". Wow mystery solved she was working at DI because she was sneezing too much had gone out to a club of some kind and now had a speech impediment because a thug did something inappropriate to her ham. Had any of the other workers had any problems with any of their hams? My mind was a flurry. How could I extract myself from the checkout gracefully without catching this sneezing clubbing thing. I was now staring boldly and not speaking because I tried talking and thinking at the same time once and it didn't work out too well so now I can talk or think but not really do both at the same time. She started picking at one of the pieces of tape and scratching it and what do my wandering eyes should appear but a miniature earing lodged in her arm not her ear. I WAS ALMOST AMAZED! She had her arm pierced. Three little studs lined up like little stars on thars. "How did you get those in?" I replied to loudly for the hushed environment of DI. ** "Ab thirst it hurled rail bed" She told me with real pain in her voice. *** "Dow day art hurling dust hissy" We were interrupted by the girl working at the next cashier who whispered to her friend "Megan you better cover those studs in your arm before Dave sees them". So she covers the the studs in her arm with the tape and smiles at me. She smiles a big toothy grin and peaking from between her teeth is a huge tongue ring. I start to ask her if it hurts but I resist and pull myself away. I must get going I need to get to Walmart where I see a guy and all I can think about is a song "Do your ears hang low do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow. I didn't have any questions for him. Too Scary.
Translations
* I needed to cover up the studs on my arm
** At first it hurt really bad
*** Now they aren't hurting they are just itching
Lots of changes....
12 years ago
9 comments:
I don't think I've laughed that hard for a long time, well maybe last week while watching season 3 of The Office. Always an adventure when you visit DI. You forgot to mention what kind of treasure you were searching for, and whether or not the trip was worth it.
Hehehe. I wonder what attracts more stares and questions, the studs in her arm or the tape covering them. If they were exposed would you even ask about them? Or would you just gag a little and go on your merry way to Walmart?
Love the story. Good thing you put the interpretations at the bottom.
Hee-larious! :D
The only thing that could possibly add to this story is an actual pithure of the thuds. But I guess the one in my head is vivid enough. Thanks for the description!
Ok. So that was THE funniest story of my life.
Mary Jo and Mollie told me you had a new, funny post and it is true: your new post is VERY funny. Thank you!
Oh Aunt Colleen! I love you! I have been sitting at my computer with a stupid grin on my face for twenty minutes as I read and re-read your posts. Your so funny!
-Nat
Aunt Colleen-
Nat told me I HAD to read your blog. She said it was almost as fun as talking to you in person. Oh, I was not disappointed! Loved the DI thory ("story" in DI-ese). The funny thing is that your story totally made me want to go to DI and have an awkward encounter with the checkout person. I'll have to post some of my stories about crazy patients at the county hospital. Gotta love them!
Jake
p.s. I don't know if it's too late to guess, but I'm going to say Washington DC or Honduras for Elizabeth's mission call. Can't wait to hear!
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